Real Life Copywriting Secrets

Howdy friends!

Some of my friends in marketing tell me “The thing I can always count
on when we talk, you always speak advertising.”

My wife would think that was a hoot.

(At home I speak in tabloid headlines…)

Here’s what I mean.

Let’s take you on an imaginary journey into a conversation between my
wife (Holly) and me.

Mike: “Hey, I need you to promise me to get a new handle for the
downstairs toilet or all ‘H-E Double-Hockey Sticks’ will break loose”

Holly: {Sighs on the inside} “OK, I promise.”

Short conversation eh?

Okay, I’m in the office all day cranking out world-class copy (my
story) and wondering ‘I hope she remembered’

Well, maybe not.

But upon arriving home late ( I needed to talk with a client in New
Zealand), my wife pronounces the promise had been fulfilled. The new
toilet handle has been acquired.

So, like a dutiful husband (doesn’t happen very often) off I go to do
the ‘dirty work.’

(Okay… here’s where the story has some meaning… sorry it took so long)

I open the packaging (without looking, of course) and notice how the
new assembly is metal, not plastic. Instinctually, I know that I’ll
not have to replace it for a long time. (A benefit… right?)

So I remove the chain from the assembly (did you know you have chain
in your toilet?) and I proceed to install the darn thing.

But something doesn’t look quite right.

And I soon discover we had the wrong handle configuration!

*GASP*

How about that! Did you know there are toilet handles that mount on
the SIDE? Well, I certainly didn’t know. Our blessed throne had a
FRONT MOUNT.

Not my fault we got the wrong one, right?

Or was I the perpetrator of the plumbing perplexity…

Alright, I have to take the blame. (My wife will love me for this!)

After all, how would she know? The only thing she was guilty of is being BUSY! (Just like our overwhelmed prospects in marketing, right?)

Shocking, don’t you think?

But it’s my duty as a copywriter and take responsiblity human being to tell the truth.

My Waterloo?

Well, it could be easy to blame my wife, and assert my intellectual
dominance. But my wife is a superstar. Soccer coach, Boy Scout
Treasurer, elementary school volunteer, weekday cook, taxi, maid and
on top of it… helps run a multi-million dollar family business a few
days a week.

Hmmmm.

Yep, totally my fault.

Why?

My humiliating deficiency in communicating like the million dollar
copywriter I am!

Yep, and I take full responsibility. (Okay… here comes that
advertising lesson)

You see, I failed the specificity test. I got an ‘F’ in ad-speak.

Had I been specific, I would have told her to get the FRONT MOUNT HANDLE.

Of course I didn’t know that, not exactly Mr. Fix-it here…

Oops… I just incriminated myself with another failing, lack of research.

In fact, it seems my weak knowledge of toilet handle configurations
LEAD to the lack of a specific enough advertisement of the needed
handle!

Next lesson?

If it can happen at home, to a top-gun copywriter, it can happen in a
salesletter, postcard, opt-in page or display ad.

So, next time I vow to apply the same level of care as I do when crafting advertising.

First do the research, then get specific and get the CORRECT toilet handle when
the new FRONT MOUNT one wears out in 19 years, 3 months, one week and 5
days!

Cheers,

Million Dollar Mike